In Brand World everything is hunky dory and tickety boo.

The company’s values, the mission, and the vision are all perfectly in alignment, from the CEO down to the receptionist and from the suppliers right the way through to the customer.

All the stakeholders (don’t you just love that word?) are perfectly engaged, valued and empowered.  And the brand itself provides a deep sense of meaning, fulfilment and wellbeing to all who are fortunate enough to enjoy the privilege of sharing its space.

Please God get me out of here

In the real world, however, life is not quite so perfect.  If you can get past the buffed brand persona and travel down enough corridors in HQ you’ll eventually descend into the heart of darkness and discover a few disaffected souls, buried deep in the bowels of the organisation (the mailroom, accounts receivable, telesales), who are having a hard time buying into all that corporate bullshit.  They are not passionate about what they do.  They do not embrace the team ethos.  They are not excited about by the new mission statement.  Upbeat and engaging internal communications just piss them off.

What’s to do with these guys?  Use the mushroom management approach (keep them in a dark place and shovel shit on them at regular intervals).  There are rare occasions, however, when this strategy can backfire in spectacular fashion.  Enjoy this video!

Another way to manage these people is to give them some “encouragement”.  This needs to be handled very carefully…as you’ll see from this clip.

And watch out for the quiet ones…when they have to get to a meeting they can suddenly turn uncharacteristically nasty, as this security camera footage illustrates.